Tuesday, April 24, 2007

My, how things change!

It's so very interesting to think back on life's events. Some things make you cringe, some make you smile, and some get you a little misty eyed.

I have changed so much over the past five years. I know, everyone changes. But my life changes have been pretty drastic. Five years ago I was a carefree, fun loving, irresponsible teenager. I loved going out with friends, I laughed a lot, was always making jokes. I actually liked high school and excelled, especially in English and Literature. I was competing in speech competitions, working part time, and really enjoying life.

Four years ago (at age 17) I was approaching the end of my junior year. After just breaking up with a long time boyfriend, I was free and single at last! I tottered on the very brink of recklesness that summer. But man, I had fun! I spent most of the summer with a good friend of mine, going to parties, dating, working, drinking, laughing, and sneaking out!

Three years ago, I was busy conceiving Chloe. I was also busy preparing a senior project, memorizing two different 7 minute speeches, finishing up my senior work, working part time, and taking college finals. I was engaged to Tony, and spending every spare minute with him. I graduated high school, and two days later discovered I was pregnant. I was terrified. My blood literally ran ice cold. A million thoughts ran through my head, sadly enough, they ran along the lines of abortion/adoption. I just felt that I had so much ahead of me and I wouldn't be able to achieve that with a husband and child. I remember the doctor sitting down with me with a handful of pamphlets. She asked what I wanted to do. I just kind of stared at her, not really hearing what she was saying. I left the clinic in a bit of a fog. But over the next few days I really started to come to terms with the fact that a little person was growing inside of me. I started planning a wedding, moving in with Tony, and working. Life was busy!

Two years ago, sweet little Chloe was just a few months old, and I was enjoying being home with her. Tony had just been laid off, and the only job he had was on again/off again construction work. It was too unreliable and money was getting tight. So I started working. My sister who ran an at home daycare watched Chloe, and I started working at a computer call in center. I loved my job, and excelled prety well. It was very tiring and difficult though, being the breadwinner. The money wasn't great, so I would call myself more of a crustwinner.

One year ago, an energetic, speedy sperm met a friendly, hospitable egg, and little baby Ali began. I was still working at the same computer center, Tony was working construction still. We were really starting to settle down and get used to life. Chloe had just turned one and showing off her super sweet personality.

And now...I'm a stay at home mom. Tony works for a corrugated box company as a senior assistant operator (soon to be operator! Woot!) Chloe just turned two, and keeps me laughing all day long. And sweet Ali is just a few months old. I stay at home for several reasons. The primary reason is financial. The cost of putting two kiddos in daycare is astronomical. Plus I'd have to obtain a new work wardrobe, gas to and from work, lunches, etc. I would be spending more than I'd be making! It wouldn't make sense. The second reason is medical. Throughout both of my pregnancies, I had a tipped pelvis. My body also produced too much of the hormone Relaxin, which made my hips and pelvis spread out too far. As a result, I was in so much pain I could barely sit for five minutes. I would have to crawl to the bathroom in the middle of the night because I couldn't stand up. I definetely wouldn't be able to go back to a sit down job, as the pain is too excruciating. I have physical therapy and chiropractic appointments every week, and my physical therapist has recommended that I rest as much as I can, and take it easy. The third reason is pure love! I love my kids. I love my husband! I love being able to stay at home with my girls, give them quality care, and spend as much time with them as possible. Things get frustrating, chaotic, and boring. But the thought of someone else raising my kids all day makes me so sad. I also like to be able to cook for my husband, and keep a clean home (which doesn't happen as much as I'd like!)

So, that was the past five years. In three years I graduated high school, moved three times, got married, had two kids, went to college, and broke my back. It's been a crazy ride!

And it's interesting that hindsight is always 20/20. I see so many things in my past that I shouldn't have done. But it made me who I am, and I like that person. She would be even better minus 30 pounds though!


Corey said...

Hey Julie! I found your blog thru Karen's blog links! I miss you!
Man, things have changed. I am really happy to "read" your joy these days! It lifts my heart. :)
May I link to your blog from mine? let me know! HUGS!

Jules said...

Why of course my dear! Where are you blogging? I want to link to you too!

Corey said...

I am so glad! :) mine is called "living and loving every minute of it!" I am linked on Karen's blog. :)

Ingrid said...

How nice to see you blogging again, Jules!

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