Sunday, February 4, 2007

Let's Do the Math...

I have officially decided I am never leaving the house again. Yesterday I attempted an outing with both kids. Here's the mathematical breakdown of our experience...

47....number of minutes it took to get the two girls ready
3 1/2...number of minutes I spent getting ready
11....number of minutes it took to get the girls out the door, down the stairs, and buckled
2...number of times I had to run back inside to grab something I forgot
2...number of children who pooped the second we got to the store
1...number of Mommies who forgot extra diapers (who forgets diapers? Isn't that usually number one on the list? D'oh!)
17....number of customers who avoided the frazzled mom with the stinky cart
1....number of overtired toddlers who threw a tantrum when we had to leave

Ok, so we just went to the grocery store. But it is not an experience I am eager to repeat. I think I'll just seclude myself in the house for the next six months or so. And every time an experienced Mama says "It gets better!" I have an intense urge to throw a poopy diaper at her. Nah, just kidding, that's a little violent. I would be content to just squirt some Butt Paste in her direction.


Piper said...

I remember feeling that way sooo many times when Ryan was first born! I swear it gets better!!! NEXT time make Tony go with you or leave at LEAST one home with him! ;) Hugs, mama!

Jules said...

Don't make me squirt Butt Paste at you Piper!

LOL! And usually I do bring Tony with me, but the poor kid hasn't slept in days, so I thought I would cut him a little slack!

Ingrid said...

Ah, Jules. I can totally relate. Not long ago we went out for brunch and the girls were so horrid that I told Gabe I was not going out again until Isa turned five! Of course, I am exaggerating, but going out with kids can be very stressful.

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