Why My Three Year Old DOESN'T Rock

First, go see why my three year old does rock!

Now this is why she DOESN'T always rock.

-She hasn't eaten a real meal in six months.

-Although she sleeps through the night, she stalls for nearly an hour before she falls asleep.

-She will only eat off of oinge plates, and drink out of oinge cups.

-She begs and whines for a bath three. times. a. day.

-She knocks over her sister, right before helping her up and kissing her softly.

-She doesn't listen to a thing I say.

-She has started saying "I can't do it" and "I hate this"

-She screams hysterically when I have to wash her hair.

I am sure she is acting like a typical three year old, but since she was such a good two year old, it is really shocking. I think she just woke up one day, removed her halo, and replaced it with a set of pink horns and a matching pitchfork (which she will later use to poke me in the rear).

Why my 3 year old ROCKS!

-She sleeps through the night.

-She can wipe her own rear about 85% successfully.

-She tells me "I lub you!" multiple times each day.

-She kisses her sister and helps her up when she falls down.

-She would gladly sit and read books for several hours.

-She tells fantastic stories.

-She kisses my owies better.

-She reminds me every day to wash my hands after going to the bathroom.

-Her favorite color is "Oinge"

-She gets deliriously happy over simple things like a cookie, an extra cartoon, or a trip to the park.

-When she smiles with her half toothless grin (results of a trike accident a few years ago) my heart melts into a huge puddle of bliss.

Toddler Conversations Part Two

Me: "You have so many toys!"
C: "Yeah I know, I a packrat."

C: "Want to play?"
Me: (pretending not to hear)
C: "HELLLLOOOOOO I said do you want to play?"
Me: "That's not nice to yell at me."
C: "(whispering) hellooo, want to play?"

C: "I'm sick."
Me: "What's the matter, does your throat hurt."
C: "No."
Me: "What's the matter?"
C: "What's the matter?"
Me: "Chloe, tell Mommy what is wrong, are you sick?"
C: "No." Walks off.

Toddler conversations.

Aren't they the best? I am really loving age 3. She's potty trained, she can put on her own shoes, she will massage my feet. As soon as she learns to make her own grilled cheese sandwiches, I'll be set!!

But for now I am happy to just sit back and laugh at (I mean..with) her. These are a few of the conversations we've had lately.

C: "Holy crap, baby just fell down!"
Me: "What did you say?"
C: "Baby fell down?"
Me: "Before that?"
C: "I don't know."

C: "Mom!! Come look at my poop! It's really big!"

Me: "Hey hon, you ready to go through the car wash?"
C: "But I'm not dirty!"

Me: "Please shut the door, I'll be out of the bathroom in a minute."
C: "Ok!" slooooooowly shutting door.
C: "WAIT! Don't forget to wipe, Mom!"

Fags and Powers.

This was my conversation with Chloe today as we were driving.

"Mama! Mama! I see fags and powers!"
"What do you see?"
"Fags and powers!"
"Fags and powers?"
"YES MOM FAGS AND POWERS."

I glanced out the window to see that we were passing a cemetary. Row after row of American flags and hundreds of flower arrangements.

Ah, right. Fags and powers.

Toddlers.

"Chloe, do you want juice or milk?"
"Ummm....milkjuice."
"You may have milk, or juice."
"Ummm.....juicemilk."
"Ok, you get milk."
"Okay!"
(Pouring milk in cup)
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! JUICE!"