The Journal

The day after I found out I was pregnant with Chloe, I went to the store and bought a journal. My first entry was a little unsure and hesitant, as my emotions were so raw and new. I wrote as if I was writing to a teenaged Chloe, and I planned on giving it to her on her 12th birthday. I put my thoughts, advice, dreams, and fears down on the pages of the journal, and I wrote it in faithfully every night. Towards the end of my pregnancy as things got busier, I wrote in it once a week. Then after she was born it tapered down to once a month, then once every few months. When cleaning out our bedroom on Sunday, I found the journal; the last entry I wrote was December 24th, 2005, two years ago. I couldn't believe I let so much time go by without writing to her. That night I wrote several pages in her journal, writing about the changes in our lives, and a few funny stories about her.

I also started a journal for Alivia. I wish I had started it when I was pregnant, but time just flew by too quickly. Her new journal is already filled with several pages, words of wisdom from her mom, advice, chit chat, stories and jokes. I can just picture her as a pre teen or teen, reading the journal and thinking about what her mom must have been like so many years ago. It's also a great place to write down all the cute mannerisms of the girls. I hope it is something they will treasure forever.

If I look back at my childhood, I think ages 12-14 were the toughest for me. So many changes occur, physical and emotional, the boy crazies set in, parents are annoying, friends cause drama, it's such a rough time for a girl! I know how much I would treasure something like that from my mother, and I truly hope my girls will feel the same about my words to them.

Fags and Powers.

This was my conversation with Chloe today as we were driving.

"Mama! Mama! I see fags and powers!"
"What do you see?"
"Fags and powers!"
"Fags and powers?"
"YES MOM FAGS AND POWERS."

I glanced out the window to see that we were passing a cemetary. Row after row of American flags and hundreds of flower arrangements.

Ah, right. Fags and powers.

Annnnd......she's off!

We have runnage!!! Alivia took off like a jet plane. She is now running from room to room, pushing her dolly in a stroller all the way across the house, and climbing all over the place. She is powerful, busy, and incredibly strong-minded. And only 10 and a 1/2 months old.

I am also pretty convinced that she was a dog in her past life. She likes to watch us with eager eyes as we eat, hoping we will drop a crumb for her to gobble up. She enjoys splashing in the toilet, and the other day she licked my face.

When I'm not chasing after the little monster, or entertaining a toddler, I'm thinking about the holiday season. I've been brainstorming affordable gifts for my little spawn. I've decided on a box full of paints and paintbrushes for Chloe. She absolutely lives for painting. She will often bring me a fresh piece of paper and state very matter-of-factly "I paint dis." It is not uncommon for her to also tap her sister on the head and declare "I paint dis too." Whenever I pull the art box out, she starts to jump up and down and shake and sputter and get really giddy, and I start to think I should call 911 or something. Paint is her toddler drug. She has to get her fix every day.

Our local craft store had bottles of paint for a buck apiece, so I grabbed a slew of colors, a handful of brushes, and a few packs of construction paper. Threw it in a shoebox, tied on a ribbon, and voila....crack-in-a-box!